


good men get better

by DangerousLiaisons



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Boyfriends, Cute, Depression, Happy Ending, Healing, Healthy Relationships, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, background Bucky/Sam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:40:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29300550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DangerousLiaisons/pseuds/DangerousLiaisons
Summary: sometimes it’s hard to get better on your own
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Steve Rogers/Thor
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	good men get better

**Author's Note:**

> depression is rough and hopefully some people resonate with this  
> i didn’t even realize i was writing my inner feelings out until it just happened lol

Steve tries to be a good man. He tries his very best.

It’s not always pretty or conventional, but as Captain America and as Steve Rogers, he puts on a good front and goes out into the world. To save lives, to keep a building from collapsing, to beat up racists, to get the occasional cat down from a tree along the way. 

And it’s oh so tiring. And hard to breathe some days. He’s exhausted each and every moment, crashing into his bed at night, a few blocks over from where he used to live so long ago. The new place is nice. Just nice.

Tony tries to get him to come to the Avengers headquarters every time they talk. A beautiful, isolated, bajillion acre, everything-you-could-possibly-ever-need hangout? What’s not to love?

I’ll think about it, Steve says every time. And he does, growing closer and closer to saying yes each time Tony brings it up. Then he goes home and looks around at his neighborhood. It’s lonely, but he can’t leave his home behind. 

Bucky and Sam took off to travel the world together after they finally started dating, promising to be back soon. Sometimes Steve awaits that day. Other times, he thinks he could be alone forever. 

But Tony has a secret weapon. He knows it may cross a line with Steve, but if it works, it’ll be worth it. After a knock, Steve opens the door and finds one god of thunder.

It takes him a moment to speak. Thor looks as handsome as ever, with his short hair and beard, his black outfit with his arms showing, some scratches decorating his body as souvenirs of battle. There’s something new, though. A longing in the captain that makes the god irresistible and comforting.

“Thor,” Steve says, his face softening.

“Steve,” Thor smiles.

“What are you doing here? I thought you were in space with the Guardians.”

“I wanted to see you,” the god says simply. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah,” Steve nods. “Of course.”

Thor steps inside and hangs his umbrella up, then pulls Steve in for an overly tight hug that a regular mortal would not survive.

“I missed you so much,” Thor whispers.

“I missed you, too,” Steve whispers back.

With his eyes closed, Thor feels Steve breathe for a few moments. It’s peaceful.

“Can I get you something to drink? Beer?” 

Thor shakes head and sits down in the small kitchen. Steve sits across from him.

“Listen,” Thor jumps in. “I know we left things a little open-ended when I left. Things felt… uncertain between us.”

Steve nods.

“But I’m willing to live here on Earth with you. I don’t want to be apart from you anymore. I can’t.”

Through a half-hearted smile, Steve sighs. “That’s really sweet of you to say.”

“But?”

“But I don’t know. We were starting a relationship and you kinda just left. I know you had to, but I can’t lie. It hurt. It’s been a long couple of months without being able to talk to you at all.”

“I know, sweetheart. And I’m sorry. I would’ve brought you with me, but I can’t risk you getting hurt. I can’t risk that down here either.” The god’s different colored eyes glimmer as he speaks. It’s hard for Steve to resist them. It takes energy he doesn’t have.

“Why now?”

Thor looks down anxiously.

Steve narrows his eyes. “Tony got you to come back.”

Thor nods.

“To tell me to move into the headquarters. He somehow tracked you down and got you to come back.”

“Not entirely. I was about to come back anyways, alright? It was too hard to be away from you. Then Tony reached out and it just sped things up. I hadn’t realized you were so down. We want you to be happy.”

“Why does everyone want me to move so badly? Why does everyone want me to be something? I don’t want to be anything,” Steve scoffs. “I’m fine here. I see everyone, I show up, I’m fine.”

“No, Steve,” Thor says sternly. “You’re not. This isn’t healthy. It’s okay to miss the past, but you are stuck in it.”

Steve looks down.

“I want to help you. Because I love you.”

The captain takes a deep breath before looking back up. There are tears in his eyes.

“I want you to go,” Steve says through a clenched jaw. 

The god’s eyebrows twitch upwards. “You want me to go?”

Steve looks away. 

“I’m not leaving you,” Thor states delicately but firmly. “I’ll bring you with me if I have to go back, I’ll stay here, I’ll do whatever works best. I’m not leaving you now or ever.”

“I can’t.” Steve holds back tears.

“Can’t what?” Thor leans in.

“I can’t do anything!” he snaps. “I can save the world but sometimes I can’t get out of fucking bed. I just don’t have it in me.” He shakes his head, then says in a broken exhale, “I don’t have the fucking energy.”

The god nods. It’s a familiar feeling. “Yeah.”

“I just feel numb,” Steve confesses. “I lost Bucky a few times, I lost Peggy, I lost Tony once, I lost half the goddamn universe, I’ve even lost you. The past is the only grounded place I don’t feel numb.”

Thor exhales deeply. He extends his hand and Steve takes it.

“You’re not alone, Steve.”

Steve tries to believe it.

“Why do you think we want you to live there? So you can be surrounded by your friends. Your family.”

“Sometimes I feel like the pain is just easier. Like I don’t want to get better.”

“I know,” Thor sighs. “I know that exactly. But baby steps. One thing at a time. You’re a good man, Steve, but you don’t have to save the world every day. You don’t even have to get out of bed every day. Sometimes, waking up is the best you can do. And that is enough.”

Steve’s tears hit the table and they’re the first he’s felt relieved to get rid of in a very long time. They feel like pressure off his chest. Like he can start to learn to breathe again. He sighs.

“I love you, too,” he says and kisses Thor’s hand.

“I’m here to stay this time,” Thor nods. “I promise.”

Steve nods back and closes his eyes.

When he opens them in the morning a few days later, he panics for a moment when he sees an unfamiliar ceiling. It’s clean and free of noisy neighbours above it.

He looks to his side to see Thor is sleeping next to him, warmth radiating from his exposed chest, arms draped heavily and protectively over him. Steve takes a deep breath.

He slips out of bed and makes his way to the kitchen. It’s a big kitchen. The coffee maker is brand new and the pot is free of stains as it pours expensive coffee into a mug with no chips.

Tony and Thor of course encouraged Steve to keep his old apartment and all his things. Move some stuff here, leave other things there. Baby steps.

“Hey, Cap,” Tony says, stretching his arms. “How’d you sleep?”

“Like a rock,” Steve says.

“Good. You need it,” Tony smiles softly, pouring himself some coffee too. “And I think Thor slept pretty well, too.” He winks.

Steve blushes.

“Anyways,” Tony yawns, “Bucky and Sam should be back any day now. They’re really happy you’re here.”

Some more pressure leaves Steve’s chest.

“Apart from that,” continues Tony, “not much on the agenda today. Just some boring calls and stuff that I’ll make Rhodey endure. I’ll put on some movies and you and Thor can fill me in on the intergalactic dates you’ve been on. Cool?”

Steve nods and exhales. “Cool.”

“Good man,” Tony nods, pats his friend’s shoulder, and makes his way to his office.

Steve exhales again, deeper and longer. He looks out the window at the acres of forest and lakes, at Wanda and Natasha walking and chatting in the distance. It’s new. And peaceful.

“Good morning, my love,” a voice says as Steve feels two godly arms wrap around him from behind. 

“Morning, Thor,” Steve hums.

“How are you?”

“I think I’m okay.”

“Okay is good. Okay is the first step to better,” Thor hums back, kissing gently across his boyfriend’s neck.

“Thank you, by the way,” Steve says. He sets his coffee down before turning and putting his arms around Thor in the same fashion.

“For what?”

“Being there for me. Helping me.”

“No need to thank me, sweetheart. I’m here through the ups and downs.”

“Me too,” Steve smiles. He leans into Thor’s embrace and the two sway back and forth for a few moments. Steve takes in the sight, his boyfriend and his new home, before closing his eyes.

Steve breathes. “Better doesn’t seem so far away anymore.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading ❤️


End file.
